HERMETIC  - ESOTERIC - MYSTICAL PHILOSOPHIES


AUTOBIOGRAPHY

PART: 1

I have been asked by some friends, known and unknown, to write an autobiography. How will I begin this difficult task is a mystery. I will let inspiration guide me and unfold my "story" as much as I can. Nothing extraordinary happened to me in my life, except for a turning point that changed my entire existence. This happened, when at the age of 23, I had polyathritis of all the joints and had difficulty in walking. Specialists in England, France and Switzerland told me that before the age of 30, I would probably have to use a wheelchair. However, five years later I was miraculously healed through a kundalini experience that projected and brought me face to Face with an incredible experience that healed me completely... However, I will leave this episode of my life for part 2 or 3 of this autobiography.

As I was saying, I don't know how I will present myself since I have nothing special to say about myself... physically I do have a name and I do have a family that I love very much, but to answer the question of who I am? That will be a tricky thing to do since I remain a mystery to myself, a mystery that I share with each and every incarnated Soul on this planet. Thus, for those with whom I come into worldly contact, I must look a bit odd and mysterious. Why is this? Simply because I am empty and open, involved and detached from everything I do... I have fun and enjoy life, but I have no real opinion on anything, since intuition and contemplation make me see things in different perspectives all the time. In reality, I am a free traveler, a constant pilgrim open to experience everything coming my way. As a human being, the most important thing is to awaken the spiritual dimension of consciousness and in so doing, experience a more profound Reality that I can share and pass on to whoever comes my way and has the same ideals. What is it that I do in life? Write, read, travel, give workshops, enjoy my family and circle of friends. My spiritual training started in 1968 with the Rosicrucian Order AMORC, I was a conscientious neophyte for 22 years... I then met my spiritual Master in 1984 at the Plaka near the Parthenon in Athens Greece...As a result of that incredibly moving encounter, I left my family in Cyprus for 3 years and went to become a psychosynthesis counselor in London. A new cycle started to unfold a painful but redeeming experience. Even during these difficult years I always kept an inner contact with my physical Master, and once I must confess I met him by "coincidence" in Paris...

So What is my name? I am called Alice Ouzounian. I was born in Cairo Egypt on the 4th June 1939 and like all good "ancient" Egyptians, from a very early age (around 4) I was yearning to understand the mystery of life and death. This was very important because I distinctly remember that from the age of 4, I had vivid and conscious out of body experiences that marked my life. Dreams and altered states of consciousness, astral projections were part of my childhood experiences, and being very shy, I lived and felt an incredible mystery surrounding me.

My physical spiritual Master is French and when I was only 4 my parents put me in an English school in Cairo, I used to escape from it and go further down the street to a French kindergarten... This went on for a while until my parents decided that I should go to another English school. I also escaped from that second school and found myself running home...

As a result of my not complying with my parents' wishes, they wisely decided that if I wanted to have a French education, so be it, I should. Thus at home, my first language was Armenian and my second one French. So why did I want to give myself a French education? is it because I had in later life to rekindle my disciple's relationship with my Initiator who happened to be French? My answer is yes, no doubt about it... So my childhood out of the body experiences and my giving myself a French education make me ponder and ask myself the question "Do we have really free will?"

I know that people say that we have free will... But are we really free to choose? do my words sound like a paradox? I don't think so. Let me explain. From my experience, I find that we only have free will when the Soul Personality or the DAEMON is not yet in touch with the ego personality, in other words, there is no harmony between the Soul and ego, thus no direct contact. Hence, both of them, the Soul and the Daemon leave us alone to experience whatever we want to experience as egos. Pleasures, desires, strong emotions of all kinds, and compulsive needs... All these are the necessary steps that one has to take in the process of awakening. However, at a certain stage, things start to change. This happens when the ego ripens and needs to experience another aspect of its own mystery. Then, a divine Image appears, a Divine face Calls the ego to awaken from its long slumber...so as to look in the mirror of its true Self. ...There, an invisible Presence makes its appearance and influences the ego... From that moment on, we are no longer free... a Higher Will guides our steps and we feel ready to attune to the impulses coming from a different Source. Where and what is this Source? It is the inspiration and guidance coming from what Pythagoras, Socrates, Plato, Plotinus and others called the Daemon. Who or what is the Daemon? It is a projection, an extension and a manifestation of the Soul, a guiding influence, a good invisible companion that accompanies each ego personality towards its awakening process. In other words, the Daemon is the projection of our inner guide... a REAL ONE, a counselor and intimate friend, a teacher and advisor who takes care of us while we are traveling in the inner and outer world of our experiences... 

The inner Journey unfolds its mystery very subtly... Each step that one takes is a discovery filled with painful and pleasant experiences... I know that consciousness needs them all so as to grow ethereal wings and converse with the Soul's Daemonic Presence... Each conscious step taken in one's life enriches the Soul Personality... painful or pleasing experiences are all the necessary "fuel" that enflame and enliven the mystic heart...

Is this really an autobiography? Yes it is one for me...From a very early age I wanted to understand why I am here on earth... I wanted to know God... and like saint Thomas, I needed to have my own proof and not the ones given by others. Well I do have my own proof... and yet I must confess that the mystery continues... and this is wonderful... because the mystery must always be there and continue... so that we expand... embrace everything and become whole... Was I free really to be different? How could I, since astral projections were awakening my childhood consciousness and intellect to ask questions, and remain in awe. No I was not free to choose, I had chosen long ago to be here on this path and I hope that I will have the opportunity to continue to do so for a very long time.

Later on in my life, when I studied painting in Egypt and then Paris, the hidden beauty of the soul and the mystery of life continued to fascinate and influence my artistic work... However, I realized that my painting was just a tool and was used as a process to discover my inner world. 

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